Empathy May Start with Listening

I recently gave a series of training seminars on disclosure & apology for a large hospital system.  During the Q&A, the hospital's CEO shared how many families in his community become emotionally distraught post-event, including screaming, yelling, etc when receiving news about medical care gone wrong (whether it is a complication or medical error).  The CEO said that often the only thing he can do is listen to the cries, tears, rants, and other emotional outbursts. As time passes -- which may mean hours or even days -- the CEO explained that he and others may be able to begin talking with the family. However, many families in his community first need to vent their emotions and healthcare professionals simply need to be present, listen, not get defensive, and make sure the family feels heard. 

For years we have talked about the need to be empathetic post-event, including saying "sorry" and remaining connected with patient and families.  We even have the free Just-in-Time "Disclosure Tips" video linked at the bottom of these e-mail newsletters. However, the CEO is right...sometimes empathy starts with listening and just being present.  Sometimes the emotions are so strong that there are no words; only an ear and good body language can help. I remember reading the words of a Catholic priest police chaplain who explained that after tragedies sometimes the only thing a caring person can do is offer the "ministry of the presence."  Just be there for the person, listen, and if appropriate give a hug or hold their hand.  When the time is right, the priest continued, you may consider offer forms of empathy and support, including "sorry" and other actions. 

Remember to support our GoFundMe campaign to fund research on medical schools teaching future physicians how to apologize. 

Sincerely,

- Doug

Doug Wojcieszak, Founder and President
Sorry Works!
618-559-8168 (direct dial)
doug@sorryworks.net