Meeting, Communicating Necessary for Grieving Patients & Families...

The week before Christmas I had the pleasure of delivering several Sorry Works! presentations at a Pennsylvania hospital.  One of the topics that repeatedly came up with my audiences at that PA hospital was how patients and families can literally become frozen in their grief if they do not receive information and answers following an adverse event. Grieving families can become permanently stuck back at "X" because they will forever wonder what actually happened.  Mental health can be negatively impacted. Families can splinter as some members can move on with their lives while others cannot. The message I tried to relay to my hospital audience was do not further the pain & suffering post-event event by freezing people in their grief. Families need communication and information to reach some sort of closure and be able to walk through all the steps of the grief process. 

The day after I returned from the Pennsylvania trip, the Wall Street Journal ran a front-page story entitled, "'We've Been Humbled,' Boeing CEO Struggles to Contain MAX Crisis."  The story went into great detail about Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg's challenges addressing the calamity with the MAX. For me, the most interesting part of the article was the following passage: 

"As months ticked by, Mr. Muilenburg hadn’t had contact with families of victims from either crash. Bob Clifford, a Chicago lawyer suing the plane maker in the Ethiopian case, suggested to Boeing officials that they meet with relatives to discuss how to spend $50 million it planned to donate—to no avail, Mr. Clifford said.

Mr. Muilenburg said he had wanted to meet them earlier but didn’t want to make them uncomfortable. “I tried to put myself in their position,” he said in the interview. “What would it be like? I’d want to have some time to grieve.”"

Muilenburg was canned the day after the WSJ story ran. 

Too often I see acute and long-term healthcare executives offer up the same lame excuses or faulty reasoning for not meeting with families after a tragic adverse event.  Let's break down the passage from the WSJ article because there is a lot of valuable learning in there.   

First, families (or patients) will be uncomfortable meeting to discuss a crippling injury or death.  These people are devastated...every breath, every day, everything about life is uncomfortable and cruel for families reeling from a tragedy.  However, their anguish and the pain shouldn't be a reason not to meet.  Grieving is a messy business and any meeting will be uncomfortable for all parties at the table, but it needs to happen.  There will likely be crying, sobbing, and blank stares, and maybe angry words and other emotional out bursts. Not easy, but necessary.  If a family is not ready or willing to meet, they will tell you...but you must offer.  Be a leader.  If they refuse, wait a bit and offer again.  Let them know the door is always open. 
 
Second, Muilenburg failed to recognize that meeting with families dealing with a tragedy is actually part of the grieving process.  The Boeing CEO claims to have wanted to give the families time to grieve, but many families need this very meeting to grieve properly!  Muilenburg's reluctance to meet may have prolonged the grief process for many families.

My overall impression of the MAX crisis is Boeing was caught unprepared. They had no idea how to handle the emotions of the situation, and sadly, many hospitals and nursing homes are in the same boat.  I find it interesting -- and maddening -- that most American hospitals and nursing homes have detailed plans for a fire, natural disaster (tornado or earthquake), or terrorist strike, which are all true never events, yet very few healthcare organizations have detailed plans for handing adverse medical events, which happen far too often!  

Long-time readers of this space know that my family and I reconciled with the hospital where my brother died.  The system that owns that hospital has a policy which requires the hospital president to meet quickly with families involved in adverse events. That's leadership. Are you ready to be a leader when the chips are down? 

Sorry Works! is ready to help you develop a disclosure policy and train your people. For more information, call 618-559-8168 or e-mail doug@sorryworks.net. 

Happy New Year!

- Doug

Doug Wojcieszak, Founder and President
Sorry Works!
618-559-8168 (direct dial)
doug@sorryworks.net (direct e-mail)